nowadays i do not pay visit to the university i am a student of. once i have discovered that i can just choose the courses that do not require attendance, my ties with
the school has loosened significantly. i still have to go back from time to time (at least until i graduate) and those visits are actually enjoyable. because i always join
for the fun part, i do not attend any of the lectures. but still, sometimes reminding yourself what you are relieved of can boost your relief.
i actually worked on this theory during my high school years. it was the last week of the classes, and almost nobody was attending, only a few people. my
father wanted me to go to school no matter what, he would ask me what would i do instead of going to school and i wouldn't answer it since "being a slack master" is not
a satisfying answer in his book. even he gave up on that week and said do whatever you want, you don't have to go. i was delighted at first, but then i recognized that life
was meaningless after that, since i had nothing left to fight for. i was purposeless. i had to earn the right to become the slack master, or else it wouldn't be fun.
what i did is next is completely nonsense, but it helped me saw the light. what did i do? i woke up early, went to school, and tried to escape from the place.
i managed to do it, and went on to become the slack master with a crystal-clear conscience.
anyhow, let me get back to my point, from time to time i still attend to lectures at the university just to remember how life can suck so hard. i usually just
scroll through something on my phone but there was one time that i had ran out of battery and i had no chance to leave the class. i was devastated, shocked, terrified.
at some point i started to think if an human could die from boredom (like for real). after managing to survive the lecture, i went on to do some research about this and it
turns out that you can not die from boredom. such a shame.
the answer had me worrying for quite a long time, what would i do if i were to be stuck on a boring loop of life with nothing surprising and entertaining in it? sure, life is full
of surprises and miracles but if you take into account that how unlucky i am in general, i have the right to be concerned. the biggest punishment for alpi would be imprisoning
him in a boring life FOREVER. that is why i am always trying to do something different, trying to differ from the ordinary. some of my friends say that i am looking for trouble,
and they are completely right. ben belamı arıyorum, and at least it is something different, and could teach or show me something different.
i wanted to be fraudster as an alternative career plan to engineering, but the idea of prison scares me magnificently. i can keep hold of my soap,
but spending years doing nothing would drive me crazy, leading to the destruction of my life.
"time without purpose is prison."